We Got Dicks Like Jesus!

I love this fucking song. Thanks to my pal, Shizzie, for hookin' a sister up with this. Every time it pops up on my shuffle, it makes me laugh. Awesome. Enjoy!

Here're the lyrics!

My dick cost a late night fee
Your dick got the HIV
My dick plays on the double feature screen
Your dick went straight to DVD

My dick - bigger than a bridge
Your dick look like a little kid's
My dick - large like the Chargers, the whole team
Your shit look like you fourteen

My dick - locked in a cage, right
Your dick suffer from stage fright
My dick - so hot, it's stolen
Your dick look like Gary Coleman

My dick - pink and big
Your dick stinks like shit
My dick got a Caesar do,
Your dick needs a tweezer, dude

My dick is like super size
Your dick look like two fries
My dick - more mass than the Earth
Your dick - half staff, it needs work

My dick - been there done that
Your dick sits there with dunce cap
My dick - V.I.P.
Your shit needs I.D.

It's time that we let the world know
Dude, you gotta let your girl go
D.S. is the best in the business
P.S. we got dicks like Jesus

It's time that we let the world know
Dude, you gotta let your girl go
D.S. is the best in the business
P.S. we got dicks like Jesus

My dick need no introduction
Your dick don't even function
My dick served a whole lunch -in
Your dick - it look like a munchkin

My dick - size of a pumpkin
Your dick look like Macaulay Culkin
My dick - good good lovin'
Your dick - good for nothin'

My dick bench pressed 350
Your dick couldn't shoplift at Thrifty
My dick - pretty damn skippy
Your dick - hungry as a hippie

My dick don't fit down the chimney
Your dick is like a kid from the Philippines
My dick is like an M16
Your dick - broken vending machine

My dick parts the seas
Your dick farts and queefs
My dick - rumble in the jungle
Your dick got touched by your uncle

My dick goes to yoga
Your dick - fruit roll -up
My dick - grade -A beef
Your dick - Mayday geek

My dick - sick and dangerous
Your dick - quick and painless
My dick - 'nuff said.
Your dick loves Fred

It's time that we let the world know
Dude, you gotta let your girl go
D.S. is the best in the business
P.S. we got dicks like Jesus

It's time that we let the world know
Dude, you gotta let your girl go
D.S. is the best in the business
P.S. we got dicks like Jesus

HAHAHA "We got dicks like Jesus" is frakkin' GREAT! :-P

The End.

Lorelai Gilmore, How I Wish She Were Real

And my friend. I love this woman. haha

My co-worker is currently watching the Gilmore Girls series with his girlfriend and he said to me today "So we saw the 'culs-de-sac episode.'" This is how much I loved this bit in that show. It was YEARS ago but I guess I talked about it so much, he remembered how much I loved it. It was the opener to one of the Season 4 episodes and it had me laughing so hard I almost peed. And just reading the transcript of that bit nearly did it to me again.

This also shows more of my nerdiness as it's frakkin' GRAMMAR humour! I present this to you now, enjoy...

RORY: It’s culs-de-sac.

LORELAI: No way!

RORY: It is.

LORELAI: The plural of cul-de-sac is culs-de-sac?

RORY: Yes.

LORELAI: That doesn’t even sound like English.

RORY: That’s because it’s French.

LORELAI: You know what I mean.

RORY: I hate to be the bearer of bad news.

LORELAI: Words should sound right to be right.

RORY: That’s not how it works.

LORELAI: So, what, the plural of yo-yo is yos-yo?

RORY: Yeah, ’cause that sounds so natural.

LORELAI: As natural as culs-de-sac.

LORELAI: Hey, Luke.

LUKE: Look at this.

LORELAI: Who, Lane? She’s super waitress, able to leap tall pancakes in a single bound. Or is that pans-cake?

RORY: Very funny.

LUKE: It’s not gonna work out.

LORELAI: Oh. What, she’s so good.

LUKE: She’s too good.

LORELAI: Oh, calm down.

LUKE: When there was a lull, she cleaned the menus without being asked.

LORELAI: Do you mean mens-u?

RORY: Stop it.

LORELAI: So, now, why do you have to get back to campus so early? Classes don’t start for a couple of days.

RORY: Yeah, I have a lot of stuff to do. And it’ll be nice and quiet with no roommates around.

LORELAI: Where are the rooms-mate?

RORY: Um, Janet’s mountain climbing, Tanna’s home, and Paris went skiing with her boyfriend.

LORELAI: So you’re just ignoring the plural thing now?

RORY: Yeah.

LORELAI: Boy, maybe this Lane/Luke team isn’t gonna work out.

RORY: Yeah.

LORELAI: Where do you think Luke will go?

RORY: I don’t know. Maybe a big chain will take him on.

LORELAI: I wonder if he has a forklift license.

RORY: He could redeem recyclables.

LORELAI: You mean recycs-able?

LORELAI: So everyone in the entire world knew the plural of cul-de-sac was culs-de-sac?

RICHARD: Yes.

LORELAI: Okay. So Mariah Carey is out with some friends and she’s had a couple cocktails, she glances down from the roof and says, “Oh, look at all those culs-de-sac.”

RORY: Why are they on the roof?

LORELAI: It’s a rooftop bar.

RICHARD: How have you been saying it?

LORELAI: Cul-de-sacs.

RICHARD: And no one ever corrected you?

LORELAI: No, because that’s the way it should be. Even if it isn’t technically correct, it should be pronounced that way.

RORY: Mom, Mom, just let it go.

LORELAI: I will never let this go.

I NEVER forgot "pans-cake" and "recycs-able." Fucking hilarious. I only wish Rory told her about "passersby" b/c that always annoyed me and would have blown her mind! haha (Not that "passerbys" sounds much better.) Seriously, I would love to have conversations like this all the time. I need the Weird Science kids to make me a Lorelai to hang out with. ... But then...if they COULD...would she REALLY be the first person I would have them make me...? ;-)


The End.

PS I also totally love Lauren Graham as Sarah Braverman on Parenthood. Which is a totally amazing show that everyone should watch. I've seen like 10 or so episodes and EVERY SINGLE one has at least made me tear up, if not cry. So good!!!

Oxymoron

Emphasis on the "moron." ;-)


Saw this downtown while walking with a friend. Just had to share... hahaha Pfft. "Science"!


The End.

Sketchbook Series #8

I've been lazy. Well not REALLY lazy, just blog lazy. Which is probably because my ACTUAL life has been the complete OPPOSITE of lazy! Too busy! Blerg! No excuse, I know. Well, since I haven't posted in awhile and all the stuff I WANT to post is going to take too long right now, here's a filler sketchbook post! I haven't done one in awhile (they seem to be my go-to filler posts, but they have pretty art!), so here you go! This is by the super cool Chris Giarrusso! I chose to use his today because yesterday we enjoyed awesome milkshakes together! (He chocolate, me vanilla w/banana.)


I'll explain this a little. Not too complicated. That's meant to be me & Lockheed (it was drawn like 2 years ago, hence the long hair). Everyone knows I love Lockheed. Well, if you didn't, you do now. So yep, that's me loving Lockheed, and him loving me right back. ::sigh:: Oh and the little faces are a sort of inside joke from back in the day when Chris worked in the Marvel bullpen, basically relating my mood to my hair colour at the time. ;-)

If you don't know Chris Giarrusso and his awesome work, then you are living under a rock and you need to go buy his books now!!!! They rule!


The End.